Perfect Fruit

WAIT! before sending angry emails and rainbow emojis, read on. This isn’t a rant about RuPaul’s Drag Race or some other in-your-face transgender or alternative life-choice. It’s simply a non-political commentary on Americans’ often irrational expectation for perfection, irrespective of personal effort to achieve even basic mediocrity.

As consumers we’ve learned to expect – no demand – perfection. We sort through piles of consumer goods on a quest for perfection, foregoing scuffed packages for ones that look bright and fresh, as if taken from an ad agency photo shoot. What’s inside is the same as that in the rejected box that’s been shoved aside, relegated to the Island of Misfit Toys or the desperate grasp of a waterlogged homeowner that will settle for that last sump pump in a beat up box on a dusty shelf. Continue reading “Perfect Fruit”

Festusitis

That’s it. I’m gonna start talkin’ like Festus Haggen. (If you don’t know the name, Google it.) He had his own little language going on, yet everyone seemed to understand what he was saying. I, on the other hand, have reached the ghostlike status of verbal invisibility, even when making an exaggerated effort to annunciate.

Siri started it, forcing me to focus on my lip movements to form words like a frightened immigrant. But it doesn’t matter. Either from lack of interest or short attention, my apparent semi-intelligible yammering is met with confusion. Even my wife’s dog stares at me in bewilderment with her head cocked, apparently thinking, “Did the giant say ‘TREAT?’ I think I heard ‘treat.’ Yeah, yeah… it was definitely ‘treat.’ So where’s my treat?”

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The Swoosh: Anger, Attitude, & Indoctrination

Nike’s new marketing campaign featuring Colin Kapernick makes sense.  It revolves around not social injustice but increased sales in a sportswear market divided among numerous players.  Nike’s marketing group made the decision to target a young African American demographic, with the rationale being young black consumers purchase more athletic gear; primarily shoes.

I’m personally not a big fan of Nike; less so since naming a spoiled, misguided, has-been as their spokesman.  And they did so not because of his athletic prowess but his take-a-knee visibility on the stage of contrived social outrage.

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Uncle Vinny’s Tips for Survival & Success: Man Down Part 2

This is a note for guys. Younger guys. I’m thinkin’ guys my age (over 50) may have had more guidance on stuff from a dad or older brother that thought just about anything could be fixed with duct tape, iodine, or a good slap. I don’t claim to have all of the answers to life’s complexities but I’ve been around a while, made a million mistakes, and have had the opportunity to raise a couple of successful kids, coach a bunch of teams, and work with a group of talented professional guys that perform like a pit crew.

Here are some things I’ve learned that apparently no one has told you but they’re important socially and professionally. I’m not going to number them because none is more important than any other. Call them Uncle Vinny’s tips for survival and success.

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Dot-to-Dot

Looking around, it appears the dots aren’t connecting and I’m trying to figure out why. I’ve always thought that life’s journey is experiential; a linear flow, building and learning on one life-event to the next. Like a baby learning to crawl, then walk, then run, then ride a bike, then drive and get speeding tickets. All of the wins, failures, heartbreaks, and near misses paved the road of knowledge from there to here. And we survived without the cocoon of bike helmets, car seats, do-overs, and safe spaces. Bumps, bruises, and scars built character and taught the cause-and-effect consequences of decision making.

Some of us have more scars: the risk takers or maybe stubborn life-forcers that have a steeper learning curve. If you’re reading this, you’ve obviously survived weak thought processes that probably make you shake your head in retrospect. And if you have scars on your face or it hurts to stand up once in a while and you mumble out loud, “I remember that one!” you’re in my group of learners.

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