The Swoosh: Anger, Attitude, & Indoctrination

Nike’s new marketing campaign featuring Colin Kapernick makes sense.  It revolves around not social injustice but increased sales in a sportswear market divided among numerous players.  Nike’s marketing group made the decision to target a young African American demographic, with the rationale being young black consumers purchase more athletic gear; primarily shoes.

I’m personally not a big fan of Nike; less so since naming a spoiled, misguided, has-been as their spokesman.  And they did so not because of his athletic prowess but his take-a-knee visibility on the stage of contrived social outrage.

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Uncle Vinny’s Tips for Survival & Success: Man Down Part 2

This is a note for guys. Younger guys. I’m thinkin’ guys my age (over 50) may have had more guidance on stuff from a dad or older brother that thought just about anything could be fixed with duct tape, iodine, or a good slap. I don’t claim to have all of the answers to life’s complexities but I’ve been around a while, made a million mistakes, and have had the opportunity to raise a couple of successful kids, coach a bunch of teams, and work with a group of talented professional guys that perform like a pit crew.

Here are some things I’ve learned that apparently no one has told you but they’re important socially and professionally. I’m not going to number them because none is more important than any other. Call them Uncle Vinny’s tips for survival and success.

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Dot-to-Dot

Looking around, it appears the dots aren’t connecting and I’m trying to figure out why. I’ve always thought that life’s journey is experiential; a linear flow, building and learning on one life-event to the next. Like a baby learning to crawl, then walk, then run, then ride a bike, then drive and get speeding tickets. All of the wins, failures, heartbreaks, and near misses paved the road of knowledge from there to here. And we survived without the cocoon of bike helmets, car seats, do-overs, and safe spaces. Bumps, bruises, and scars built character and taught the cause-and-effect consequences of decision making.

Some of us have more scars: the risk takers or maybe stubborn life-forcers that have a steeper learning curve. If you’re reading this, you’ve obviously survived weak thought processes that probably make you shake your head in retrospect. And if you have scars on your face or it hurts to stand up once in a while and you mumble out loud, “I remember that one!” you’re in my group of learners.

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Involuntary NASCAR

I was taking a load of stuff to my son’s apartment Sunday morning before the start of the fall semester. It had just rained but traffic was flowing at a comfortable 70+ miles per hour. In my mirror I saw a car screaming up from behind me at a high rate of speed. I was traveling at roughly 75 mph and he passed me like I was standing still. Another car moving at the same velocity zoomed by. There was a few feet of separation between the two.

Traffic pulled far to the right as the reckless lunatics played their swerving race game. The car in the number two position passed the other on the left shoulder. They ultimately disappeared without incident.

If they had crashed and their bodies were hanging out of their mangled vehicles, I wouldn’t have stopped. Their antics set the standard for the value of their lives. But it does warrant a reminder for drivers that put my life and that of my family at risk. I wrote this last year and never posted.

It must be NASCAR season.  There are clear indicators.  Like during skunk mating season, when suddenly dozens of striped corpses can be seen strewn on the highway as if dropped by stench fairies.  The signs are everywhere, most notably on the road.

So, for all of you NASCAR aficionados, here are a few pointers to help you coexist with those of us that don’t give a shit that you have a number 8 or 4 on your Ford Taurus:

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Feral Cats

There’s another local number calling my cell.

“Hello this is Vince….”

Brief recorded message…“This is NOT a solicitation. This is the credit card bureau calling on behalf of Credit Card Services and your Visa Mastercard….” BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Then an unintelligible East Indian man named Steve or Jason takes the call in a go-live direction with a predictable breathless machine gun speech about offering a zero percent interest rate on my Visa card because of my “history of payment.” You know the drill, then “Steve” or “Jason” asks for the expiration date of my card so they can magically tell me the first couple of numbers on the account to add legitimacy to the scam. Then they ask me to repeat the entire card number for verification…to compare with what they have on their screen.

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