The Blame Tree

Liberty… Liberty… LIBERRRRRRTEEEEEEE!

Is anyone else moderately annoyed by the Liberty Insurance commercials. I’m not talking about their catchy little jingle, I mean their message. It took a while (being background noise in my office) for the series of ads to worm into my brain.

They’re all the same; a semi-irritated woman ranting about an accident she caused and the insurance industry’s ludicrous response of raising her rates.

The commercials start with a brief outdoor confession of an at-fault fender bender or encounter with a rogue tree and then a dismissive narcissistic response.

“…. Tap one little bumper and the insurance company wants to raise my rates. HEY INSURANCE COMPANY, NEWS FLASH…NOBODY’S PERFECT!”

Really sweetheart? “News flash?” Like the insurance industry hasn’t figured out your demographic? That’s why we have insurance! And my truck was perfect until your inattentive texting self rear-ended me at a stop sign. Yeah, and your less than stellar driving record, coupled with your inadequate insurance, made it my problem!

Liberty’s current bar-lowering ad shows yet another irritated woman in their typical outdoor venue. She describes her minor accident, after swerving, cutting off and ultimately sideswiping another vehicle:

“You’re turning onto a street and barely clip a passing car and the insurance company wants to raise your rates after damage so small you could fix it with a pen. Maybe I should use my pen to sign with a NEW insurance company!”

OK Liberty, define “TAP” a bumper or any damage that could be fixed with a pen! Ya can’t get hit by a piece of gravel and “fix it with a pen.” Maybe Liberty policy holders get a magic mistake pen! That would be cool! (I’d sign up for a magic pen.)

As an over-insured rule-following motorist I’m annoyed by the ads but recognize the campaign as sheer genius. Liberty Mutual is playing to the selfie generation’s complete absence of personal accountability. They’re simply blameless…about everything.

Even when confronted – no, BUSTED – and obviously in the wrong they will conjure a ridiculous excuse rather than simply saying, “Awwww sorry. I messed up. It won’t happen again.”

In a very friendly way I confronted a young employee about routinely showing up for work late. Apparently he didn’t expect anyone to ask. He froze. Stuck… eyes racing back and forth then fixated on an exit door. I thought for sure he was going to bolt.

“Dog,” he said.

“Dog?” I asked. “The dog ate your homework?”

Frozen. Frozen millennial on a stick. Searching. I could hear the tiny little gears grinding in his head.

“Dog. Dog sick. Ran away. Opened door and ran,” he said.

“Catch him Tonto?” I asked with fatherly concern.

“What’s Tonto?” He asked, finally making eye contact.

“I said pronto. Did you catch him fast? Never mind. Make an effort to get here on time. Your team’s counting on you,” I said walking away.

But the lack of accountability blame-game is everywhere. It used to be that people would just attempt to lie their way out of conflict. But it takes a measure of planning and brains to remember lies. With diminishing collective intellect – or attention span – blaming is just the natural evolution of a lie.

My recent favorites (in no particular order):

“THERE’S NO WAY I SHOULDA GOT A DUI! F’IN BARTENDER WAS MAKING MY DRINKS TOO STRONG. HE SHOULDA SEEN THAT I’M AN ATHLETIC GUY AND ONLY WEIGH 140 POUNDS!”

“Ugg…I got a 77 on my exam. I studied my brains out for this one. This professor sucks. Nothing on the study guide he handed out was on the exam. I’m givin’ him a bad review at the end of the semester. It’s not fair!”

“Shitty weekend. I got stopped for speeding on my way home from Wisconsin Dells. And then the cop breathalizered me and I blew above a .02. I HAD ONE STINKIN’ BEER! And because I’m not 21 I got a drunk driving on my record because of that stupid absolute sobriety rule. I’M FIGHTIN’ IT! THAT COP CAN’T DO THAT! I asked around. They can’t breathalizer ya for a speeding stop.”

“My phone alarm didn’t go off. Dead battery. F’in Apple. They’re doing this shit to force us to upgrade.”

I urge everyone to call out a blamer… if for no other reason than the entertainment value of watching the creation of a really weak sloppy web of words. I’ll continue to attempt to nudge blamers in the right direction in an effort to save the world from stupidity that prompts the creation of “accident forgiveness” commercials like that of Liberty Mutual.

And if… when… we fail… BLAME THE TREE! Liberty! LIBERTY! LIBBBERRRRRTEEEEE!