STRESSED

I keep hearing how people are feeling stressed, mostly young people. I don’t get it. I mean I REALLY don’t get it, so I’m trying to figure it out. Not because analyzing the human condition is some kinda weird hobby but because I routinely have employees call in sick because they’re stressed (from life). And that’s the excuse. Not, “ I ate a bad shrimp and have been throwing up” but “I’m stressed and need the day off to get myself together.” It’s apparently the semi-adult version of a self-administered time out.

I was recently at a large manufacturing company that had just completed extensive remodeling of their office areas. Incorporated into that space was a room next to the company’s nurse’s office that had a sign on the door that read, “Quiet Space.” (Because if you’re having a hard day at work sometimes you need a dark quiet safe place to hide and regroup. I suppose it avoids public crying and verbal outbursts.)

So what’s the stress? What are the stressors that would force a young person to a life of anti-depressant meds to cope? We live in America not some war-torn third world shithole. We’re free. We’re not fighting a world war with the specter of a military draft. We can say and do just about anything we want, as long as it doesn’t offend a small “stressed” group of the population or hurt small mammals. We can go to a grocery store and find hundreds of different types of salty snacks, breads, pizzas, breakfast cereals, or alcoholic beverages to satisfy any possible craving. We can live and work wherever we choose. We can go to school – for free – as long as we’re interested in learning. We can fish, hunt, own homes, cars, motorcycles, airplanes, pets, firearms, and anything that interests us as long as we follow the simple rules of civilized society. We can date or marry the person we choose, regardless of race, religion, political viewpoint, or gender identification. We can work…or not… and have a voice in American policy by voting.

So what’s the problem? Why is there so much “stress?” Money? Not being able to afford necessities is a life-stressor. And there are so many necessities. There’s the obvious four basics; food, clothing, shelter, and body art. Our generous uncle will help us indefinitely if we’re in a bind with the food and shelter thing. Lookin’ around, clothing doesn’t seem to be one of the big ticket issues of the “stressed” population. So it must be the other necessities, like cable, internet, cell phone, body ink, and entertainment…and maybe insurance if there’s anything left over.

A while ago I had a young guy corner me on the production floor. He needed to talk privately so I asked him to come to my office when he had the chance. He followed me.

He was stressed, saying he couldn’t make ends meet and asked if I could give him a pay advance. I apologized saying that I had no mechanism through our payroll service to advance pay. As he left my office – visibly shaken – he said, “This is really bad. I have an appointment this afternoon. I don’t know where I’m going to come up with the money.”

“Doctor?…Car?” I asked with a measure of urgency and understanding, edging toward a personal commitment to help.

“No…” he said, holding up his arm. “I have to get my sleeve finished.”

I had no words, just a genuine look of fatherly understanding.

I get it. Costs snowball, quickly turning black numbers red. Health insurance is the 800 pound gorilla in the room… staring at ya. Fortunately, young people are generally healthier than those of us with parts wearing out and have comparatively lower exposure but remain one life-event away from debt. Car insurance can be a huge expense. I was surprised when talking with several young men how few carry auto insurance and are spinning the roulette wheel until caught. I guess that’s why my insurance guy promotes strong coverage for un- and underinsured motorists on my auto policy, even though insurance is mandatory in Wisconsin. I guess “mandatory” only applies to compulsive rule-followers that were raised with a measure of parental fear and respect for authority.

TV and internet access are necessary but the cost is obscene. My household is a TV and internet hostage. I don’t watch a lot of TV but use internet for work. Al Gore failed my family with his “internet connectivity” directive, making sure rural areas are “on the grid.” My rural address falls in a black hole of phone, internet, and TV accessibility. Our only option is a stripped down package of DIRECTV (offering a stunning selection of Pawn Stars, HGTV, and useless “reality” programming at the ridiculous price of nearly $150 per month. I would cancel it tomorrow and put up a TV antenna but that would make Bekki unfit to live with. Our internet service through Frontier (yeah, Frontier… that’s the best option) boasts a whopping 1.3 mbps on a good day (verified by a recent speed test) for the low rate of $50 per month. So all up we’re paying $200 per month for TV and internet. But we make up for it with a family phone plan through Verizon with 20 gigs per phone because everyone needs a hotspot to use a computer. But that connectivity extortion comes at a cost of $230 per month. And then there’s the pesky light bill… and heat… and groceries…and pet food… and vet bills…AND MY TRUCK NEEDS AN OIL CHANGE…. AND TIRES…. AND THERE’S A CRACK IN THE DRIVEWAY…. AND THE FURNACE NEEDS TO BE SERVICED….

GREAT! NOW I’M STRESSED!

I need a day off. I’m calling in. I hope they understand.